Hello world! I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. My talkative side has been unleashed not on my blog, but out into the wild with seeing old friends and bonding with family.
Since I've been living at home this summer I've made an effort to get to know my two siblings that I never have spent enough time with. We've already shared many grand times and summer isn't even over yet! For those of you who don't know, I have 3 younger siblings (two younger sisters, 17 & 14 and a younger brother, 11). I love them all dearly. My siblings are my best friends and know my better than I know myself.
Since I have started to form a more mature bond with the younger sister, I've been slightly concerned for her well being. Call me over protective, but I feel little responsible for what my little sis does, what she says, etcetera. I know that the crowd she hangs out with might not be the best. In fact, her friends like to act "grown up". I'm so concerned for her because she's falling into the same patterns that her friends are.
I can't tell her what to do and the same goes for her friends. However, a few words of tough love I wish I could tell her friends.
1. Stop over-flaunting all of your...assets! I know, I know, you're super excited to have boobs and a more womanly figure, but by all means, cover up a little! Shorts skimpier than underwear and low cut crop tops don't count as actual clothing.
2. While some of the clothing I've seen you girls in will catch a guy's attention, dressing that immodestly won't keep said male's attention.
3. Do you have any idea who sees your pictures on facebook (or online in general)? Trust me, there are much older guys than you think who could see those pictures.
4. Makeup is cool!....in small amounts. I suppose I was there once with the raccoon eyes, but COME ON! I can't see your faces underneath all of that goop.
5. ANYONE can look like hot stuff with a fake glowing orange tan, fake hair, tight clothing, and caked on makeup, but real beauty is only skin deep.
6. You don't have to do any "favors" for any guy. Stop chasing after them and let them get you!
7. Your social life may seem like your whole life now, but it won't last. You'll be a real adult sooner than you think.
I may or may not have experience in the high school department. I wish I would have listened to my mom's advice and been my own, all natural person. Alas, the past is the past and I'm happy to pass along a few things I learned to my young freshman sister. I think she'll be okay in the end.
Until next time...whenever that is.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Allow me to vent...
So I live in a small-ish apartment with three other gals, right? We're all friends and such. The one I have always considered a close friend, my first college friend.
She's an amazing girl. Hilarious, talented, gorgeous, caring, fun and carefree. Great girl. All three of my roomies are awesome and very different people. This means we all have different styles of what we like, how we prefer living, etcetera.
I am by no means a neat freak. My room will tell you that. I like to keep things organized but it doesn't have to be pristine. I'm okay with a small mess as long as it doesn't affect the way I live. However, when it comes to the kitchen and living room area, I prefer a well-kept area. Something I can take pride in and say "Yeah, I live here, you like?" Unfortunately about 1 hour ago if a blind man walked into my kitchen he'd be able to tell it was a disgusting, putrid, mess from the smell of spoiled food.
I mean, okay, you don't have to wash your dishes right away, put them in the dish washer or even fill them with soapy water to avoid having to scrub them out later, but please, would it kill you to EMPTY THE FREAKING FOOD OUT OF IT BEFORE YOU JUST DUMP IT INTO THE SINK?! Some of my dishes will never be the same, stained with old tomato sauce and other various food items.
The worst part about this whole mess? There were gnats above the sink where the smell of rotting fish and tomato sauce lay. Even worse, there was an open bag of crackers on the counter and a multitude of ants to go with it. I've never felt so disgusted to live in this kind of filth. I'm no angel and I can only do my best to clean up after myself and take care of other things, but please...ARE WE PIGS?
It's not even like I live with a bunch of dudes, I live with ladies, of the female gender. My boyfriend has come over a few times to the mess and said it's inexcusable.
I know what you're saying. "If you hate the mess so much why don't you just clean it whenever it gets bad?"
Gee, I'd love to. I just did actually. By tomorrow morning some various dishes used for late night snacks will be stacked in the sink, dirty and filthy. I guarantee it. Every time I clean the kitchen, it's back to exactly how it was before within a day or two.
I can't wait until I go home to my family who keeps the kitchen at least tolerable. This is just ridiculous.
She's an amazing girl. Hilarious, talented, gorgeous, caring, fun and carefree. Great girl. All three of my roomies are awesome and very different people. This means we all have different styles of what we like, how we prefer living, etcetera.
I am by no means a neat freak. My room will tell you that. I like to keep things organized but it doesn't have to be pristine. I'm okay with a small mess as long as it doesn't affect the way I live. However, when it comes to the kitchen and living room area, I prefer a well-kept area. Something I can take pride in and say "Yeah, I live here, you like?" Unfortunately about 1 hour ago if a blind man walked into my kitchen he'd be able to tell it was a disgusting, putrid, mess from the smell of spoiled food.
I mean, okay, you don't have to wash your dishes right away, put them in the dish washer or even fill them with soapy water to avoid having to scrub them out later, but please, would it kill you to EMPTY THE FREAKING FOOD OUT OF IT BEFORE YOU JUST DUMP IT INTO THE SINK?! Some of my dishes will never be the same, stained with old tomato sauce and other various food items.
The worst part about this whole mess? There were gnats above the sink where the smell of rotting fish and tomato sauce lay. Even worse, there was an open bag of crackers on the counter and a multitude of ants to go with it. I've never felt so disgusted to live in this kind of filth. I'm no angel and I can only do my best to clean up after myself and take care of other things, but please...ARE WE PIGS?
It's not even like I live with a bunch of dudes, I live with ladies, of the female gender. My boyfriend has come over a few times to the mess and said it's inexcusable.
I know what you're saying. "If you hate the mess so much why don't you just clean it whenever it gets bad?"
Gee, I'd love to. I just did actually. By tomorrow morning some various dishes used for late night snacks will be stacked in the sink, dirty and filthy. I guarantee it. Every time I clean the kitchen, it's back to exactly how it was before within a day or two.
I can't wait until I go home to my family who keeps the kitchen at least tolerable. This is just ridiculous.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Why is everything going so wrong?
Whenever I think that the negatives in my life are bigger than the positive, everything falls apart. This calls for a list of all of the ways I am blessed.
....but let's just see a list of quick negatives
-I scheduled my work times all wrong with concert times and dress rehearsals. The next two weekends I won't be able to work 4 shifts. NOT GOOD. My ass is on the line for being fired (probably..it's not like I bring anything great to the store)
-My throat feels swollen.
-My lips feel like cardboard and my playing is very difficult and inconsistent to say the least.
-I also have developed a nice large cold sore in the center of my bottom lip. Hooray.
-Shin splints. I just keep running on them to stick to my plan and they keep getting worse.
-Lately I get the idea that some people I thought I was close to only like me because they know I'll listen and bend over backwards for them. While this is true, I'd like to think that the friendship could be reciprocated. One sided friendships are lame.
-I'm getting super dark lately..on a lot of matters and people.
-My level of self pity is going through the roof.
I'd better stop there.
Now, some ways in which I am blessed.
-I have a job (for the time being) and I make my own money. I appreciate its' value and as a result am more grateful for what little I have unlike some college kids who's parents pay for everything.
-My body is still functioning normally for the most part. My organs are in good health, I'm not struggling with any type of disease, I have two fine legs that still take me places, you get the point.
-This callas on my lips is surely not permanent. Neither is the cold sore.
-People are always going to disappoint you. That's why He's here for me. Plus, not everyone I talk to is like the way I mentioned above.
-This darkness is probably just a phase and a result of stress, little sleep, and being overworked.
I feel better already!
....sort of...
....but let's just see a list of quick negatives
-I scheduled my work times all wrong with concert times and dress rehearsals. The next two weekends I won't be able to work 4 shifts. NOT GOOD. My ass is on the line for being fired (probably..it's not like I bring anything great to the store)
-My throat feels swollen.
-My lips feel like cardboard and my playing is very difficult and inconsistent to say the least.
-I also have developed a nice large cold sore in the center of my bottom lip. Hooray.
-Shin splints. I just keep running on them to stick to my plan and they keep getting worse.
-Lately I get the idea that some people I thought I was close to only like me because they know I'll listen and bend over backwards for them. While this is true, I'd like to think that the friendship could be reciprocated. One sided friendships are lame.
-I'm getting super dark lately..on a lot of matters and people.
-My level of self pity is going through the roof.
I'd better stop there.
Now, some ways in which I am blessed.
-I have a job (for the time being) and I make my own money. I appreciate its' value and as a result am more grateful for what little I have unlike some college kids who's parents pay for everything.
-My body is still functioning normally for the most part. My organs are in good health, I'm not struggling with any type of disease, I have two fine legs that still take me places, you get the point.
-This callas on my lips is surely not permanent. Neither is the cold sore.
-People are always going to disappoint you. That's why He's here for me. Plus, not everyone I talk to is like the way I mentioned above.
-This darkness is probably just a phase and a result of stress, little sleep, and being overworked.
I feel better already!
....sort of...
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent
I have decided that this year there will be two things that I give up: Pop and facebook.
Two things that aren't good or beneficial to me at all. The pop will be no problem. I don't usually buy it to put in my fridge but any time I go out to eat, go to a party, or even take a trip to the vending machine, I usually go for that diet whatever.
A facebook fast for 1 month and 15 days is going to be a whole other animal to tackle, but I think I can do it. Better yet, I think it will make me a better person. Seriously, how many people do I think I know, then realize that I only really know them through facebook? Lame. I need to connect with people around me through real conversation. I need to learn more about others because they told me personally, not because I saw it on some networking site.
I figure that I'll be on here a lot as a result...here and twitter. Be prepared for my excessive blogging for the next 40-some days.
ciao
Two things that aren't good or beneficial to me at all. The pop will be no problem. I don't usually buy it to put in my fridge but any time I go out to eat, go to a party, or even take a trip to the vending machine, I usually go for that diet whatever.
A facebook fast for 1 month and 15 days is going to be a whole other animal to tackle, but I think I can do it. Better yet, I think it will make me a better person. Seriously, how many people do I think I know, then realize that I only really know them through facebook? Lame. I need to connect with people around me through real conversation. I need to learn more about others because they told me personally, not because I saw it on some networking site.
I figure that I'll be on here a lot as a result...here and twitter. Be prepared for my excessive blogging for the next 40-some days.
ciao
Monday, March 7, 2011
The power of His love
Wow..
WOW.
I have a pretty lengthy story...Here goes.
So this past week pretty much sucked for me, at least that's what I thought. On Thursday, I had this literature review that I should have turned in BY Thursday. Guess what, I was just starting it Thursday morning; a typical thing as of lately. Anyways, I went to the library super early, went to my one class, skipped my next class to go to the library again, then I had to go to a doctor's appointment.
After all of this I had to rush to brass ensemble. I'm way over on credits to take this ensemble as a class, but it still matters to me and I put a lot of time and effort into it. I got there a little late and realized that I wasn't even playing the first piece they were running in rehearsal. I tuned with them, then left my euphonium in there and went outside. I had left everything I COULD be working on in my car that was very far away, but they were supposed to start the next piece in 15 minutes so I figured I'd just wait. Long story short, they spent all period on the first piece and I wasted my time waiting. I was seriously angry. I had to work at 4:30 and still had tons of work to do for this lit review.
If that wasn't bad enough, I received an e-mail from my online teacher saying the midterm project was due that day. This project involved interviewing an African American or Hispanic person over the age of 50, doing some research, then typing up a 5-7 page paper reflecting the interview and research.
Good thing I had no idea about this giant project until the day it was due and the teacher sent a friendly reminder to people who had not yet turned it in. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought I did a good job keeping up with this class considering I'm taking 10 other classes that have taken a toll on me.
Nope...I failed. I was so scared of failing the class. The professor said every day late we turned it in was a 20% reduction. It was IMPOSSIBLE for me to get all of that done in a few days considering I don't even know anyone to meet the requirements for the interview. I was beside myself and sent her an e-mail pleading to not fail me. I went on SRU's website to see something amazing: April 4th- last day to withdraw from classes.
HALLELUJAH!
I thanked God for showing me this miracle. I had been praying vigorously all day for this. He answered me. Although it sucks that I don't get a refund for this class that I couldn't complete, I'm just glad it will have no effect on my grade.
I always have had a tendency to bite off more than I can chew, but I think this was God's way of telling me to STOP! Take a chance to actually enjoy college and get the most out of it.
Sunday I had such an emotional experience at CCAGF with Ethan. The minister spoke about spiritual gifts: how we must use ours. We have all been presented with one. It's a matter of using it for good. I felt shivers the rest of the service and nearly broke down in communion. When the service was over and Ethan and I got in the car to go home, I knew in my heart, the least I can do for Him that has given everything to me, is give a little back.. I have a gift for people. I really have a knack for talking and listening to others. I especially love hanging out with children. I hope to work with children for my career some day. Why the heck have I been so idle in my actions for Him? I would not be here, alive and breathing with wonderful people if it weren't for God's amazing grace.
In conclusion, I've decided that I have to start giving back somehow. I just have to figure out exactly how I'm going to do so. I've been praying for God to show me exactly what I need to do. I shall post updates as they come.
The first step I'm taking is to ask the youth minister at my home church about the youth group summer mission trip. I'd like to go as a counselor. I think it's something I'd be good at. Next step, asking my pops (the minister at my home church) about leading worship for my contemporary service every so often. They're incredibly small steps, but it's a start. I have so many resources around me. It's time to start giving back!
WOW.
I have a pretty lengthy story...Here goes.
So this past week pretty much sucked for me, at least that's what I thought. On Thursday, I had this literature review that I should have turned in BY Thursday. Guess what, I was just starting it Thursday morning; a typical thing as of lately. Anyways, I went to the library super early, went to my one class, skipped my next class to go to the library again, then I had to go to a doctor's appointment.
After all of this I had to rush to brass ensemble. I'm way over on credits to take this ensemble as a class, but it still matters to me and I put a lot of time and effort into it. I got there a little late and realized that I wasn't even playing the first piece they were running in rehearsal. I tuned with them, then left my euphonium in there and went outside. I had left everything I COULD be working on in my car that was very far away, but they were supposed to start the next piece in 15 minutes so I figured I'd just wait. Long story short, they spent all period on the first piece and I wasted my time waiting. I was seriously angry. I had to work at 4:30 and still had tons of work to do for this lit review.
If that wasn't bad enough, I received an e-mail from my online teacher saying the midterm project was due that day. This project involved interviewing an African American or Hispanic person over the age of 50, doing some research, then typing up a 5-7 page paper reflecting the interview and research.
Good thing I had no idea about this giant project until the day it was due and the teacher sent a friendly reminder to people who had not yet turned it in. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought I did a good job keeping up with this class considering I'm taking 10 other classes that have taken a toll on me.
Nope...I failed. I was so scared of failing the class. The professor said every day late we turned it in was a 20% reduction. It was IMPOSSIBLE for me to get all of that done in a few days considering I don't even know anyone to meet the requirements for the interview. I was beside myself and sent her an e-mail pleading to not fail me. I went on SRU's website to see something amazing: April 4th- last day to withdraw from classes.
HALLELUJAH!
I thanked God for showing me this miracle. I had been praying vigorously all day for this. He answered me. Although it sucks that I don't get a refund for this class that I couldn't complete, I'm just glad it will have no effect on my grade.
I always have had a tendency to bite off more than I can chew, but I think this was God's way of telling me to STOP! Take a chance to actually enjoy college and get the most out of it.
Sunday I had such an emotional experience at CCAGF with Ethan. The minister spoke about spiritual gifts: how we must use ours. We have all been presented with one. It's a matter of using it for good. I felt shivers the rest of the service and nearly broke down in communion. When the service was over and Ethan and I got in the car to go home, I knew in my heart, the least I can do for Him that has given everything to me, is give a little back.. I have a gift for people. I really have a knack for talking and listening to others. I especially love hanging out with children. I hope to work with children for my career some day. Why the heck have I been so idle in my actions for Him? I would not be here, alive and breathing with wonderful people if it weren't for God's amazing grace.
In conclusion, I've decided that I have to start giving back somehow. I just have to figure out exactly how I'm going to do so. I've been praying for God to show me exactly what I need to do. I shall post updates as they come.
The first step I'm taking is to ask the youth minister at my home church about the youth group summer mission trip. I'd like to go as a counselor. I think it's something I'd be good at. Next step, asking my pops (the minister at my home church) about leading worship for my contemporary service every so often. They're incredibly small steps, but it's a start. I have so many resources around me. It's time to start giving back!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
10 Current Confessions
1. I think the sound of a saxophone is sexy...sometimes.
2. My procrastination is getting out of control.
3. I've been so unhappy lately probably because my schedule doesn't allow me to work out as much as I would like to.
4. I have a lit review due soon that I should be working on.
5. I'm currently skipping class to do this lit review.
6. Paleness intimidates me. I'm afraid to look like my natural self. I feel vulnerable that way. All of my flaws are more obvious.
7. I CANNOT stand showoffs. I have zero tolerance for that. I don't care how brilliant or talented you are. Show your gifts when necessary. This is the reason why I didn't feel too bad about skipping class today. Some people are a little too eager to show how amazing they are. News flash: there are other people in the class who have just as much, if not more, talent in that area than you, so get the fuck over yourself.
8. Excuses, schmexmuses.
9. I wish I could find the drive within me to work harder all of the time, not just when I desperately need to.
10. I can't wait until I have a few seconds to spend some QT with the bf. Lately, that concept is a rarity.
2. My procrastination is getting out of control.
3. I've been so unhappy lately probably because my schedule doesn't allow me to work out as much as I would like to.
4. I have a lit review due soon that I should be working on.
5. I'm currently skipping class to do this lit review.
6. Paleness intimidates me. I'm afraid to look like my natural self. I feel vulnerable that way. All of my flaws are more obvious.
7. I CANNOT stand showoffs. I have zero tolerance for that. I don't care how brilliant or talented you are. Show your gifts when necessary. This is the reason why I didn't feel too bad about skipping class today. Some people are a little too eager to show how amazing they are. News flash: there are other people in the class who have just as much, if not more, talent in that area than you, so get the fuck over yourself.
8. Excuses, schmexmuses.
9. I wish I could find the drive within me to work harder all of the time, not just when I desperately need to.
10. I can't wait until I have a few seconds to spend some QT with the bf. Lately, that concept is a rarity.
Friday, February 25, 2011
My mac has but 25% of battery juice left. My time to blog is limited.
Currently, I'm chilling here in the library waiting for all of my boyfriend's videos to load onto my computer (it's draining the bajeezus out of my poor mac)
I've been here waiting and toiling over a hot computer for over an hour to figure out how to put video footage from a basic camcorder onto a mac. Easier said than done. When I was finally able to retrieve the files, they weren't even play-able on this mac! I've had to install 2 different kinds of software to convert the files and here I am now. Waiting. This is the first time I've had to WAIT for my mac.
Really, I'm spoiled. I expect that anything technology based will load quickly and painlessly. I don't expect to wait for anything when it comes to technology for more than five seconds. Unfortunately I expect the same from life in general that I do from technology.
I'm always so impatient; always expecting that conditions or people can change faster than someone can snap their fingers. I've had so many patient people who've dealt with me, so I should be able to do the same.
Anyways,
This next week is going to be insane. Two presentations and three tests all jam packed in the first three days! My goal to get a little ahead by cracking down this weekend is already kind of failing thanks to that stupid camcorder. The boyfriend owes me. Alot. Dinner and a movie would be nice. Too bad he's not a subscriber on here. I don't think he even knows I have a blog. Hah.
I was planning on getting a good deal done before the night draws near. I'm going to a toga party tonight. It's going to be a small get together. Not too huge which is good for me. I despise most huge gatherings as they are dangerous, overcrowded, and smell putrid. I'll know (just about) everybody there and hey, why not wear sheets on my body for just one night?!
I think all 3 gb are finally loaded. Thank God.
Ciao ^_^
Currently, I'm chilling here in the library waiting for all of my boyfriend's videos to load onto my computer (it's draining the bajeezus out of my poor mac)
I've been here waiting and toiling over a hot computer for over an hour to figure out how to put video footage from a basic camcorder onto a mac. Easier said than done. When I was finally able to retrieve the files, they weren't even play-able on this mac! I've had to install 2 different kinds of software to convert the files and here I am now. Waiting. This is the first time I've had to WAIT for my mac.
Really, I'm spoiled. I expect that anything technology based will load quickly and painlessly. I don't expect to wait for anything when it comes to technology for more than five seconds. Unfortunately I expect the same from life in general that I do from technology.
I'm always so impatient; always expecting that conditions or people can change faster than someone can snap their fingers. I've had so many patient people who've dealt with me, so I should be able to do the same.
Anyways,
This next week is going to be insane. Two presentations and three tests all jam packed in the first three days! My goal to get a little ahead by cracking down this weekend is already kind of failing thanks to that stupid camcorder. The boyfriend owes me. Alot. Dinner and a movie would be nice. Too bad he's not a subscriber on here. I don't think he even knows I have a blog. Hah.
I was planning on getting a good deal done before the night draws near. I'm going to a toga party tonight. It's going to be a small get together. Not too huge which is good for me. I despise most huge gatherings as they are dangerous, overcrowded, and smell putrid. I'll know (just about) everybody there and hey, why not wear sheets on my body for just one night?!
I think all 3 gb are finally loaded. Thank God.
Ciao ^_^
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Take me for who I am.
I am so sick of feeling the pressure to change something about me just to get someone else's approval only to find out that another person doesn't like that version of me. It's a vicious cyclone I've been riding as long as I can remember.
And it's only gotten worse since I've gotten to college. I have to be one person for professor, but wait, that person is to ditzy. So I change it. Then I'm too uptight and no fun for my class mates. "You should try harder" from one person...then I get a "stop worrying and stressing yourself out" from the same person. How can I be what someone else wants me to be. Why can't I just develop my own concept of who I want to be? I know it's not ultimately up to me, but seriously, can I get some support for me being me?
Maybe I'm just far too passionate for this world. Music is all I know. I can't do anything else. Nothing. If there's something I believe in, I am going to stand by it no matter what. If there's something that I'm excited about, everyone will probably know I'm excited. When I'm upset, it's a whole new level of sadness. My highs sky rocket and my lows are gastronomically low. The point is, I'm happy with me. I don't have any intentions of changing me. Sure I can change the way I do certain things, but I refuse to become a different person because of other people.
And it's only gotten worse since I've gotten to college. I have to be one person for professor, but wait, that person is to ditzy. So I change it. Then I'm too uptight and no fun for my class mates. "You should try harder" from one person...then I get a "stop worrying and stressing yourself out" from the same person. How can I be what someone else wants me to be. Why can't I just develop my own concept of who I want to be? I know it's not ultimately up to me, but seriously, can I get some support for me being me?
Maybe I'm just far too passionate for this world. Music is all I know. I can't do anything else. Nothing. If there's something I believe in, I am going to stand by it no matter what. If there's something that I'm excited about, everyone will probably know I'm excited. When I'm upset, it's a whole new level of sadness. My highs sky rocket and my lows are gastronomically low. The point is, I'm happy with me. I don't have any intentions of changing me. Sure I can change the way I do certain things, but I refuse to become a different person because of other people.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
STRESSSTRESSSTRESS!
Today COULD be a day of heavy pressure and stress, but I'm going to make it a day of pure motivation. I have so much due in the next week for just one class and don't know how I'll get it done, but it's going to get done. I'm so stinking motivated to do well.
I figure that as much as I love my euphonium, I have to put it aside for this week. I'll still practice everyday, but forget that 2-3 hours a day; at least for this week.
This week is going to be interesting, but I want to come out on top. I just hope my lesson with my professor goes well considering I feel like I've gotten little accomplished in the past week. I wish he could understand that my life doesn't revolve around playing as much as I love it. I wish he would come to accept that I don't want to be a starving musician, but a happy music therapist. I hope when I try to explain myself today at approximately 3:30, he doesn't take it as a lame excuse for me being lazy. I HATE being accused of being lazy. There's nothing worse in my book, besides being called a failure.
Here goes nothing. I have a meeting in less than 9 minutes.
I need to type on here more. Yes I do. I feel better already.
Thank you, God!
I figure that as much as I love my euphonium, I have to put it aside for this week. I'll still practice everyday, but forget that 2-3 hours a day; at least for this week.
This week is going to be interesting, but I want to come out on top. I just hope my lesson with my professor goes well considering I feel like I've gotten little accomplished in the past week. I wish he could understand that my life doesn't revolve around playing as much as I love it. I wish he would come to accept that I don't want to be a starving musician, but a happy music therapist. I hope when I try to explain myself today at approximately 3:30, he doesn't take it as a lame excuse for me being lazy. I HATE being accused of being lazy. There's nothing worse in my book, besides being called a failure.
Here goes nothing. I have a meeting in less than 9 minutes.
I need to type on here more. Yes I do. I feel better already.
Thank you, God!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Guys and Alcohol
It's been a long time since I've been on here. Too long.
I suppose it's because I only go on here because I'm upset. So on the one hand, I guess it's a good thing that I haven't been truly upset in a while.
So I'm watching the super bowl and such, watching the Steelers lose. Depressing. Anyways, I'm enjoying good drink and being merry when a chap I haven't seen in months sends me this text message telling me I am the reason he has left college and bashing my significant other. I did not appreciate this and instead of doing the right thing and ignoring it, the "merry" side of me kept trying to reason with him. Following this conversation was a whole string of phone calls from this chap. I kept ignoring it and told him my phone was dying when he played the " you hate me, I hate myself" card.
Too bad I fall for that kind of thing all of the time....this time in particular.
It has created a terrible situation, a dramatic scene in the car with my significant other. I'm so sick of this. Any argument we have gotten into has to do with my stupid compassion.
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Whatever, I've lost my flair. I don't know what else to write.
I suppose it's because I only go on here because I'm upset. So on the one hand, I guess it's a good thing that I haven't been truly upset in a while.
So I'm watching the super bowl and such, watching the Steelers lose. Depressing. Anyways, I'm enjoying good drink and being merry when a chap I haven't seen in months sends me this text message telling me I am the reason he has left college and bashing my significant other. I did not appreciate this and instead of doing the right thing and ignoring it, the "merry" side of me kept trying to reason with him. Following this conversation was a whole string of phone calls from this chap. I kept ignoring it and told him my phone was dying when he played the " you hate me, I hate myself" card.
Too bad I fall for that kind of thing all of the time....this time in particular.
It has created a terrible situation, a dramatic scene in the car with my significant other. I'm so sick of this. Any argument we have gotten into has to do with my stupid compassion.
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Whatever, I've lost my flair. I don't know what else to write.
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