Untited.

It's a Tuesday. I didn't go on a run this morning because it was pouring. I might go on a bike ride later provided it clears up a bit. I'm still wearing what I was yesterday. Groan. I have successfully consumed more than plenty of calories for one day. Hooray, it's summer. I need something to look forward to.

That paragraph is very scattered. I figured I would type out whatever I was currently thinking in a few sentences. Today I slept in until 10:30. That's a little over 10 hours of sleep. Besides being lazy in that regard, I printed a label to send a few chegg text books back and figured out what's what with my summer class. It's going to cost $579 for an online class. Obviously, I can't pay for it. I asked faja about it and it IS tons cheaper than if I weren't taking it through a community college. I just..need something other than 2 summer jobs and practicing to work for.

I have realized something from one year of college. I'm only happy when my schedule is jam packed. This means I'm an unhappy camper right now. I suppose I enjoy a few relaxing days here and there when I can just read a book, but the truth is, I like being busy. I don't understand why because I can get so overwhelmed and flustered from the pressure. It's almost some kind of oxymoron. I'm only happy when I'm overworked and miserable?

Like I mentioned earlier, I need something to work for, something to look forward to. I have my euphonium that I plan on practicing for many hours a day to get better, I have a job at one high end retail store and another at American Eagle. This just isn't enough. I. Need. More.

I haven't had much social interaction apart from skype, facebook, and my phone since I've been home. My family is gone from 7 am to 10 pm. It will drive me insane. I have friends at home I guess...

The truth is, I feel like I dumped (or was dumped by) a group of friends that played a huge role in the social life I had before college commenced. I would go out with them 2-3 times a week during the school year and we always had a good time. The problem is, the group has disbanded. The few of those people that I still talk to have immersed their lives in drugs, girlfriends, and other people they'd rather be friends with. It sucks, but I'm over it.

I still have a few solid friends. One is in a completely different country, one is 6 hours away and one lives here! Great. Perfect.

I have a burning desire to call up my boyfriend but the last thing I want to do is seem clingy. Even though we've been together for 6 months, I'm still terrified of commitment and appearing like he's the only person in my life because, he isn't. He has a life outside of me and a great one. He constantly stays busy taking gigs performing and holding up responsibilities with certain groups he's involved in. I need to be more like that. I am...I guess I just don't procrastinate as much as he does. I like to get everything done as soon as humanly possible because I'm now on this schedule where my body thinks I still have a million and one things to do.

I wish it were still that way. It's only 4 months though...and I'm praying that my parents see the benefits of taking a class this summer to keep me completely occupied and out of their hair.

Only another week until I can legally drive again.

Woop woop!!

sweet v