Ten Reasons I ((should love, but)) HATE this Summer.

1. The weather is perfect and it's only May. The sun is out all of the time and it's perfect to lie out and read a book.
2. I successfully finished my first year of college! That's a reason to celebrate right there.
3. Summer is a perfect time for bonfires and bonding with old high school pals.
4. I can drive again! No recent medical issues!!
5. I have two jobs both way better than the nasty old one I had for three years.
6. I'm being productive by taking a college class at a community college.
7. Summer time means vacation with the family.
8. Vacation with the family means going down south to the beach territory.
9. My 19th birthday is this summer.
10. The boyfriend is living on campus, therefore, he'll be more available and he'll ask to see me more often than he would at his house.


Okay, these next 10 sort of correspond to the above.

1. Nice weather? Too bad I work all day and can't really enjoy it.
2. Who the hell can I celebrate with, my dog? I don't even have a dog.
3. Old high school pals? All of mine have moved on, as in moved hundreds of miles away from here. The others ignore me.
4. I don't have my own car because I'm broke. Every bit of money I earn goes straight to medical bills and college tuition.
5. Working two jobs actually sucks. It's no picnic. You're treated like you solely work at that job from both. They don't care if you work at another place, they'll make you stay later, come earlier, work just as hard.
6. I'm already behind in my class because of both jobs.
7. I can't go. Public Speaking and 2 part time jobs met up with family vacation. They didn't really want to work it out. Bummer.
8. There isn't a decent beach within miles of this dump. After all, when would I go?
9. My family doesn't even want to celebrate and forget taking a nice road trip to Canada.
10. Who said he would actually call. I'm pretty sure he talked to me more when we were both drowning in school work and other college business. I feel like he's living a few hours away, not a few miles.




Believe it or not, I didn't just decide to post this blog to complain about my so far so lousy summer. I understand, I'm 18 now, it's time to grow up. I didn't know that this meant I'd still be treated like a child and not own a car. Life sucks. You can't really win either way. I complained about not being an adult before..well, I'm almost there and I still don't get the rights of adulthood. No car, I still have a curfew, and I still have to run around doing everything and anything for Mommy dearest. I'm lost. I thought that when my parents told me to take responsibility and grow up this summer, they'd give me the other end of the deal by treating me like an adult.

Let's talk about number 10, shall we?
I understand he doesn't text often and that he has limited minutes, but could he at least TRY to give me a little thoughtful call when it's free for him? I know he usually stays up late anyways and usually just watches TV and lounges around his apartment anyways. Am I not that important? I don't really want to mention this to him yet for fear of seeming clingy. It's not like I just want to talk to him about my day and blab about me...I'd like to hear about what he's doing. Plus, the fact that my mother's breathing down my throat and asking about his life this summer everyday isn't helping much. When I tell her, I don't know, I haven't talked to him. She backs my confidence with lovely phrases like " Oh, he's not one for commitment is he?" or "huh, guess you're not important enough for him to take the time."




I just want to sit here in my room for the rest of the evening (it's not even 5 yet) and cry. I want to drown myself in my pathetic sorrows, but alas, I work my second job from 5:30-11:30)



Our doorbell keeps ringing and I refuse to answer it. I'm in too much of a mess right now to entertain.


Anyways, that's all the bitching I have for now. I know it's pathetic, I just.......GAHHHHH



sweetv