I'm large in your world

Once upon a time,

I did something kind of stupid, impulsive, and downright irrational.

It's not something one would normally come down so hard on themselves for, but I am.

I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I was just relaxing and letting the chips fall where they may. Clearly that plan has failed me.

I never asked for a relationship of the romantic status. I feel I don't need any uneccessary stresses right now so what do I do?

I GIVE IN. Wow, good plan, self, good job. Honestly, I'm so scared of having the same thing that happened last time happen again. I said I wouldn't let this happen. Shit. I'm in too deep.

Over and out. I need to go worry about other important matters at hand like that math test I'm going to go fail.

Gahh, why?!

sweetv

Keep my heart somewhere drugs don't go, where the sunshine's rays always keep me close

Once upon a time,

I became all nostalgic while listening to some Jimmy Eat World (from the Futures album, brah!)

I started thinking of where I was exactly 2 years ago today. So many things have changed:

-I grew some balls, not literally, I swear.

-I broke out of my metaphorical shell.

-I fell in love.

-I had my heart broken

-I broke someone's heart

-I discovered it's hard to say goodbye (no, not just in the romantic world)

-I lost my childish trust in mankind

-I quit carrying my heart on my sleeve.

-I developed new and improved relationships with others.

-I dropped some uneccessary baggage

-I dropped some vital necessities along the way

-I decided to pursue my two strongest passions in the world: helping others and making music

Then again, it seems like some things NEVER change:

-I'm still some what of a people pleaser

-Still the same awkward loser.

-Still a certified virgin. ( I need some kind of gold plaque commemorating this achievement)

-Still a procrastinator

-Still a stupid blonde (no matter what color I dye my hairs)

So what now? Obviously I know I need to work on some and ONLY SOME of those unchanged features up there. On the other hand, I have too, too many regrets in the first list.

Regrets, can't live with them, so why not live and let die? I always think "what if" this and that.

Honestly, I think it's holding me back from fixing the root of the problem.

Oh, I forgot to list another unchanged trait: I'm still a selfish, inconsiderate child. Deep down, I like having things my way.

Nostalgic state over.

My fingers are becoming callused. I can't feel my left pointer, middle, and ring finger. I love it. Guitar is going to be so much easier now. I'd better keep these babies.

Now, I must get back to some homework and practicing. Enough procrastination..

...For now anyway.

tootles 8-)

sweetv

-

Forward

Once upon a time,

My room mate decided to blast crappy, tasteless rap in our room without getting my consent first.

I cannot wait until this year is over.

I can't get rid of her.

So many thoughts are bouncing around in my head right now. This seemed to be a simple solution. If I don't blog, I'll speak. No one wants that. The world is better off with me anonymously blogging my thoughts and feelings and not sharing them with everyone.

I'm craving a treadmill...and a strawberry milkshake right now.

I blame Ben Folds music. It has that effect on me.

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore

I have class tomorrow..today..at 8

I have used the letter "I" way too much. That's because I'm a selfish being. A vain selfish being I shall remain for now.

I plan on passing out now.

Until then,

sweetv